How to Build Rapport But Avoid Becoming a WII FM Bore, “What’s in it for me radio all me all the time.”

Hi, Nick Cutter with Sharper Knives and Shears. You bust’em or rust’em we bring back the edge with pleasure. Sounds corny yes… You probably haven’t heard a pitch like this come out of a network contact at a chamber event but you have heard some doozeys over the years.

Many marketers will attempt one of two tactics while networking:

1.Present their pitch, exchange cards and move on for future follow up
2.Open conversation in an attempt to get you talking about you to make you feel like they care and are a good listener... This is an attempt to build trust.

But there is another way to build rapport without making others feel like you are being fake or too pushy in your efforts to build your referral database.

I’d like to offer an approach with a different tact that might simply fit a normal mode of conversational style we are all accustom to.

How many times have you sat on a plain, train, bus or subway and opened a conversation with someone sitting immediately next to you? We do it all the time. You know the moment that uncomfortable silence falls on a situation where you are very close to another human being almost sharing your comfort zone buffer and then it happens Out pops a question or comment. It’s really an invitation to dialogue. That allows the receiver to accept or deny.

Wow could this train take any longer to load? I guess I’ll be in the office fifteen minutes late as usual then they respond: Ya it’s like this all the time. You’d think the city would figure a way to get us to work on time for once. BAM! You’ve done it. You just broke the ice and have opened a mutually beneficial conversation with an unknown contact. You are networking! You have also built a sense of trust given their response, you both think the trains in your city have a scheduling and management problem and it bugs you. Rapport is building in just one exchange; you found out you are similar in at least one way, and you have a common problem.

So how does this relate to networking? Good question. When we network we seek like minded individuals who may improve or enhance our professional lives in some way. Perhaps we need referral partners to build revenue-generating business, or we need solution providers to enhance our pool of resources to your customer base. Whatever the case might be we need an active database of professionals who if given the chance would think of us, assist us on a mutually beneficial project and perhaps use our product or service if the need arises.

Basically we are looking for people we find interesting and like to talk. Overtime that like and enjoyment of corresponding may end up in a business relationship. We are looking ultimately to invest ourselves in others for our mutual long-term benefit.

So why do most networking groups teach their members to create a standard pitch? First I think the pitch is good if presented in the right way as a group introduction at event to allow listeners to label you as a certain type of professional or when used only to answer a question. And not used to open a dialogue with total strangers.

RULE #1: Don’t maintain a WII FM mentality. It’s a fact human nature tends to put our needs above the needs of others. And some truly focus on the ONE way too much. Generally those types of professionals are easy to spot. Don’t be one of them.

RULE #2: Give, Ask, Receive. So what is Give, Ask, Receive. Here’s how it breaks down (this is greatly over simplified):

GIVE a compliment or note something special about the new contact

ASK them an appropriate question that leads them into an open honest dialogue

RECEIVE usable information to build a trust building dialogue that leads to a business card or information exchange that has merit, trust and meaning.

Think about your natural behavior in public. Have you ever stood in line, waited for a plain for more than an hour with a group of other people? What happens? Over time you naturally lower your guard and seek out human contact. Over the course of minutes or hours a relationship develops that makes you feel at ease and more comfortable with your surroundings. You get a laugh, ease some tension and pass sometime. You build rapport.

This is a prime example of human nature and our desire to connect with the people and world around us. We want to share in this ride we call life.

So instead of shoving a boring 30-second pitch down someone’s throat employ a Give, Ask, Receive tactic in your interactions and watch your referral database grow.


In pursuit of happiness,

Kenneth Knapp
Founder/CEO
socialFIEND.com